


The Pull of the Past

by InkJackets



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Identity Reveal, Ladrien | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, ladrien, with a bit of an uplifting or hopeful ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28220478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkJackets/pseuds/InkJackets
Summary: “Hey, mum.” Adrien’s voice rang out softly in the small courtyard. The ground was warm beneath him and the late afternoon sun lit the world a fierce gold. He ran his fingers over the rough paving stones before raising his head to meet the stony eyes of his mother’s statue, sitting serene and tranquil in the alcove surrounded by rose bushes.“I found out who Hawkmoth is today.”
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 29
Kudos: 143





	The Pull of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for [Silver Lining: An Adrien Zine](https://adrienagrestezine.tumblr.com)

“Hey, mum.” Adrien’s voice rang out softly in the small courtyard. The ground was warm beneath him and the late afternoon sun lit the world a fierce gold. He ran his fingers over the rough paving stones before raising his head to meet the stony eyes of his mother’s statue, sitting serene and tranquil in the alcove surrounded by rose bushes.

“I found out who Hawkmoth is today,” he said, deathly quiet. Adrien swallowed the lump in his throat and ignored the burning in his eyes. “He told me what he’s doing, why he wants the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous.”

Adrien dug his nails into his palm; he clenched his stomach; he grimaced as the tears he was forcing back disobeyed him and spilt down his cheeks, dripping _pat-pat_ onto the pavement beneath him.

“He just sat down and _told_ me,” he whispered with disbelief, “as if he were telling me of an upcoming trip to Milan.” He dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I love you so much.” His voice cracked. “But I can’t betray Ladybug. I love her too.” Tears leaked past his palms and his breathing shuddered and he started to tremble.

“ _But I miss you_.” Sobs wracked his body as he broke down crying, the sun warming his shoulders but unable to touch the cold deep inside him. 

Memories came to him then, lighting up his mind. Her sweeping him up in her arms and pecking him on the nose. Her laughter dancing among the notes of the piano she played. Her embrace, so warm, as she held him, that soft smile on her lips which told him everything would be okay. And Adrien wept for that smile. He _needed_ to see it again. He needed her _back._

A gentle breeze blew through the small garden. The leaves and flowers rustled in the wind and swept through Adrien’s hair. He lifted his head and inhaled the sweet-smelling earth. Ever so slowly his shuddering breath evened; the tears on his cheeks dried; the pain twisting inside him gave way to numbness, and he gazed at the stone carrying the likeness of his mother.

“What do I do?” His words drifted around the courtyard, catching the light. But the statue remained silent and didn’t reply.

Time lost all meaning as Adrien sat there. The sun dipped below the walls and took the warmth from the air, lights appeared in the windows beyond, and his mother gazed down with cold eyes of stone, unseeing and unable to comfort him. He shivered.

A gentle sound from behind him broke the silence.

“Adrien?”

Adrien turned and was faced with the stunning blue of Ladybug’s eyes. The world around him fell away. He forgot how to breathe; she was beautiful. Her dark hair fluttered in front of her captivating eyes, flecked with gold from the setting sun, and her pale cheeks were flushed from the cool evening air. They both gazed at each other, their only audience, his mother. 

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” Ladybug asked quietly.

Adrien breathed and the world came back. He glanced at the statue of his mother and wiped the dried tears from his cheeks, but when he tried to speak a lump rose in his throat and blocked the words from coming out.

Ladybug shifted. “I’ll come back later,” she said, drawing out her yoyo.

“No!” Adrien grabbed her wrist. She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Don’t go,” he whispered. Ladybug’s cheeks flushed and he could feel heat creep into his own. 

Ladybug bit her lip and glanced back at the house. “Your father…” she began. 

Adrien shook his head. “He’s abroad. And took Nathalie with him.”

“Your chauffeur?”

Adrien fell silent a moment. “We can trust him,” he said and knew it to be true.

Ladybug smiled. “Okay,” she said simply and sat down beside him.

Adrien relaxed. He began to let her wrist slide from his grasp, but then she grabbed his hand. He looked at her. Ladybug gave a small smile and weaved her fingers through his, holding him tight. Adrien felt his tension flow out into her as warmth spread up his arm and it was such a relief he felt light-headed. He took a shaky breath in, inhaling her scent of fresh bread and sunshine, and gazed back at the statue of his mother. 

They both sat there in silence as dusk turned to darkness and the cool bite of night rose in the air. The deep cold within Adrien failed to shift but sitting here with her took the edge off his pain.

“About a week after she disappeared I found myself here,” Adrien said quietly, breaking the silence. “It was pouring with rain, I was soaked instantly, but I _had_ to see her.” Pain tugged at his gut. “I sat in her lap and begged her to speak, to hug me back, _anything._ ” He fell silent. “The next thing I knew my father was there. Water ran down his face and I couldn’t tell if it was tears or the rain, but…” The barest of smiles rose on his lips. “He held me. The three of us held each other. And that’s the first time since she disappeared that I remember feeling warm.” The smile faded from his lips. “But then he said… he said something which made me turn cold.” Adrien swallowed as that horrible feeling took over him again. “He said he’d bring her back.” His voice was low and edged with pain. “No matter the cost.”

Adrien looked at the ground. At the time he hadn’t known what his father had meant, but now he understood, no matter how much he wished he didn’t. He dug his nails into his palms. 

He knew he had to tell Ladybug that his father was Hawkmoth, but he needed a moment. A moment to grieve for the loss of his mother, and for the loss of the father he realized he’d never had. 

“I truly hope she comes back to you one day,” Ladybug said.

Adrien’s jaw clenched. Darkness curled in his gut. 

“She won’t,” he said, and terror clawed its way through him because he knew it to be true. “She won’t ever come back, not unless… unless…” he slammed his hands to his mouth and tears spilt down his cheeks.

The next thing he knew he was engulfed in Ladybug’s warmth as she pulled him close. He gripped her tight and gritted his teeth and buried his head in her shoulder and his chest spasmed with sobs. She whispered soothing noises in his hair, holding him despite his shaking.

“I miss her, Ladybug!” he cried into her shoulder, “But I can’t… I _can’t…_ I…I—” He grimaced and held down a wail and dug his nails into her shoulders as turmoil surged within him. And he cried, he _sobbed,_ for the choice he had to make. Knowing he was doing the right thing didn’t make it any easier to say.

He choked down his tears and sucked in a deep breath. “I-I know who he is,” he said, voice strained, “Hawkmoth.”

He felt Ladybug tense. She slowly pulled back and cool air rushed between them. “ _What?_ ” Adrien stared at the ground unable to meet her eyes. “Adrien.” She tilted his chin up, forcing him to meet her gaze. Tears swam in his eyes, blurring his vision, but the blueness of her eyes shone through. “ _Who_ , Adrien?”

Adrien pulled his head out of her grip and looked away. For a moment the only sound was the soft _pat-pat_ of his tears hitting the ground.

“Who else,” he said numbly, “would cause me this much grief?”

And Adrien could _feel_ Ladybug’s horror. “Your father,” she said, barely above a whisper.

Adrien didn’t say anything. Silence swirled around them.

“He’s going to bring her back,” he whispered.

Ladybug looked at him with dismay. She raised a hand and straightened his collar that had bent out of place. “Oh, Adrien,” she said. Adrien felt her fingers shake as they trailed his shoulder. “We have to stop him,” she said quietly.

“Do we?” he said. The words left a bitter taste in his mouth and he regretted them instantly. 

Ladybug eyed him. “You should go to your room,” she said, and pulled out her yoyo, “I’m going to get Chat Noir.”

Adrien placed his hand on her yoyo and made her lower it.

“I’m Chat Noir,” he said quietly. Ladybug blinked. An uncertain laugh escaped her lips, but it faded quickly when his expression didn’t change.

“You’re being serious,” she said.

He simply held her gaze. Her eyes widened. Ladybug sat back with a _thump_ and brushed her fringe back.

Adrien’s heart thumped in his chest and mouth grew dry as she continued to stare at him. But then her mouth widened into a grin. Tears glistened in her eyes and goosebumps rose on Adrien’s skin when her soft laugh rang out.

“ _Mon Chaton_ ,” she said. She placed her hand on his cheek. Adrien felt his soul calm as he gazed into her eyes, so bright and full of love and life.

“Adrien…” Ladybug took a deep breath. “I’m Marinette.” Adrien’s heart stopped. “Dupain-Cheng,” she added, as if he wouldn’t know.

His eyes traced her hair, her nose, her lips, before meeting once more the blue of her eyes. 

A bubble of warmth rose within him and a smile grew wide on his face. 

“How didn’t I guess?” he gave a soft laugh and Ladybug blushed.

The moon appeared from behind a cloud and distracted them both as it bathed the world in silver.

“So,” Ladybug began, her voice soft in the moonlight, “what’s the plan now?”

Adrien turned his gaze to the stars, now shining in their hundreds, and took a deep breath of the fresh night air. He had a choice to make. He could drown in the past, or in Ladybug’s blue eyes. And he knew which he’d rather. 

“My father gets back in the morning,” he said quietly, “We’ll take him by surprise.”

Ladybug looked at him. There was a sadness in her gaze, but a determination as well. She took his hand once more, weaved her fingers through his, and nodded. 

They both looked back to the statue of his mother. It must have been the way the moonlight shone on her, but Adrien swore he saw her smile. He felt a warmth rise in him then. It wasn't enough to drown out the cold, but it was a start.

And though he wished time would stand still so he could sit here forever, he knew that, as long as his mother watched over him and his lady was by his side, he could resist the pull of the past.

He gave Ladybug’s hand a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back.

He had a future and he wanted to live it.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked it, let me know if you did :)


End file.
